jakarta part 1

JUST HOME. dari perjalanan ke jakarta yang sebenernya HONESTLY dari awal aku tidak menikmatinya. Padahal tujuan ke jakarta kali ini adalah untuk menghadiri pernikahan dek awan dan manda juga untuk menghadiri pertunangan erma dan erick. Tapi rasanya berat aja melangkahkan kaki ke jakarta, gak kayak waktu dulu- dulu.. selalu happy kalo mau ke jakarta, karna berarti ketemu orang-orang yang aku sayang. Sampe dijakarta aku dan mama di jemput bude pandri , mbak mia dan ADAM.. salah satu keponakan kesayanganku... hihihihi..

adam patria

aku diantar ke tanah kusir karna selama di jakarta aku menginap dirumah bude ratno. diperjalanan bandara ke tanah kusir ponakan ku udah telpon-telpon aja... nanyain tantenya udah sampe mana.. hihihii... begitu nyampe ditanah kusir .. inilah kelakuan ponakan-ponakan centilku :P

si centil bakpauw a.k.a pida
she heart her aunty
mutia putri aristya

Langsung pada nemplok kayak gitu tu kalo udah ketemu tantenya.. hihihihihi.... gimana ga happy .. im glad i have them. sebenernya ponakanku dirumah ini masih ada 3 lagi tapi nanti menyusul ya poto2nya :P hari pertama di jakarta ditutup dengan tidur.. hahahahaha..

Day two.. bangun pagi-pagi karna begitu ke jakarta tentu aja aku langsung nyidam harvest cake.. hahahhahaa.. dan pagi itu berencana untuk menyerbu harvest cake sambil jalan-jalan :D
abis sarapan aku sama kedua ponakanku langsung berangkat..

on the way to harvest cake

and this one is on the way to Bintaro plaza

abis dari harvest emang langsung ke bintaro plaza karna tadinya niatnya mau shopping,, eh ternyata sampe disana kecewa.. hahahahaha.. sambil nunggu si tante erma yang cantik jelita itu akhirnya ponakanku pada nodong j-cool... hahahahahhaa...

look at them ck ck ck..

heran banget hampir SEMUA ponakanku doyan banget makan yogurt dan kayaknya kalo ke jakarta pasti nge yogurt deh,, hahahahaha,,, ini poto nya yang yogurt part one ya,, mreka ini abis lho single sama couple yogurt which is itu brarti 3 cone yogurt,, hahaha ganas :P tapi emang ini nambahnya selain doyan juga karna nungguin sitante erma tercinta.. begitu udah ketemu sama tante erma kita jalan-jalan deh.. muter2 BP dan maen di gamezone...

Pida in action

setelah puas maen-maen di gamezone kita trus makan di bakmi Gadjah Mada... ohh tidakk... makan terus jadwalnya...!!!

me and mutia
blue all the way

pida and tante erma yang cantik

Abis makan bakmi GM kita akhirnya pulang soalnya malemnya harus ke le crystal.. yuk yuk kita pulang... hup hup hup.. begitu sampe ditanah kusir dan setelah ngobrol ngalor ngidul sama bude tiyah akhirnya tante erma pamit pulang... hihihihi.... kita nganterin tante erma sampe depan deh

mutia minta gendong

*nganter tante erma keluar* *mutia,me,pida*

heart them so much

mama sama pakde bude ratno udah duluan buat acara midodareni , jadi aku sama erma nanti nyusul. trus pas lagi siap-siap para ponakan pada maen di kamarku.. dannnn mreka maenan sepatu ku,, alhasil sepatuku patah hak nya karna dibuat jingkrak jingkrakan.. ha ha ha

sepatu malangku,,, hihihi

akhirnya aku pake sepatu yang satunya, dan pergi ke le crystal. karna erma laper makanya kita mampir makan di duck king di PIM2 hihihihihi... asik-asik crita ngalor ngidul.. hihihihihi... eh ternyata rombongan yang midodareni ditempatnya si manda udah sampe le crystal lagi pas kita kejebak macet otw to le crystal... akhirnya batal deh ke le crystal dan balik ke rumah... hihihihihi... sepanjang jalan erma ngomel-ngomel.. dan baru sadar bahwa satu clan itu semua begitu kalo ngomel.. hahahahha... marah-marahhhh nya panjang kayak kereta api,, tuttt tuttt tuttt... hihihihihihi.... sampe rumah tidur dan mempersiapkan semua baju buat awan and manda wedding.

new atmospher

when a little bite could wake you from persisten dream.
its really true that GOD can teach us how to dance by not even hold our hand and show us an example. isn`t that so amazing..??
its really true that without us asking , GOD always feed us with something GOOD..

i do believe that a nice thing will earn a nice reward.
value life by being so thanksful for each air that i breath this morning
even when a harted left there.. somewhere inside my heart..
hopefully i could get over that harted. TOXIC.

when life is about hearing from another.
when life is about seeing our self in the mirror
seeing what right and wrong..
when life is about rephase a line..
when life is about being tough..

when Present becoming Past
and something i Know becoming something i Knew
i choose to keep the past as something i knew and will not let it just fade away.
let it be salt that poured right on my bleedy wound..
so i can remember clearly how does it feels..
so i wont pour another pepper or add some chilli.

thank to U,YOU,you and you
for always HOLDing my hand.

what a punch

right punch right time..
God always know how to make me stand a little more tough..
by anything that i will never can describe but yes.. HOPEFULLY it will always work..
lot of thing punch me this day...
but yea... like i said.. right punch right time...
im really glad its the right time..
cause if not...
fyuhh,, i dont know what will happen...
hahahahahaa...
thank you so much GOD...
i should not say anything cause u already knew what i feel in the time u punch me..
hahahahahahahahaha....

well...
i always love to hear "*" hello..
cause really GOD..
i never hope will hear "*"

thats why i just leave...
thanks for the punch anyway ;)

a Day

Today is the day i learn again how to smile even when i`m dying to cry.
i still remember how i hard i tried to smile to my mom when i reached home in the day my father passed away ... but i`m still just a kid,, how hard i tried to be that "tough" .. but when my mom surround me those tears wont stop fall down. just like this day.. when i heard my mom`s voice in the telephone.. i didn`t need million minutes to shed tears cause suddenly i`m crying. And she always be that patient to calm me down.. she always could make me feel just fine.
" life is not always be that smooth... at least you learn !" my mom said. can`t said anything except wipe my tears away and calm myself down and back to public.

exactly the same thing happened on December 2010, when i was just broken up. i was told my mom about my exz boyfriend`s last words for her. that he couldn`t taking care of me any longer. i was trying so hard to hold my tears before suddenly she hug me and rub my hair and made me crying like a baby.. she`s hug me so tight.. she said " udah,,, jangan nangis sayang,,, kalo kamu nangis mama juga jadi sedih... " and i saw her shed tears... like what my father did when he saw me cried.. in the time i knew that my vionce is canceled the engagement and that was the first time i saw my dad crying over my love-relationship,,!! THeir sincere tears... cause they really knew what i felt.

Everyday in my morning... my mom always come to me and said
" i`m already 60 next year.. !" and its sounds so scary to me... its freaks me out.
just like her time are close.. and she have to make sure that i am ready for it :((
"my left chest is hurt" arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! GOD,, what am i suppous to do!!! im scared... im so scared..!!!!
i can`t stand to see her eyes.. cause its painful.
thats why i`m trying my best to fulfil her dream.. finish my school.
but like what she said.. its not always that smooth...
and Dear GOD... i am doing my best... but when best isn`t enough.. than nothing that i can do.
U sent me to her to bring her happiness and pride, dont U?
so would U be kind enough to give me change to accomplish it?
i wanna see her smile..

U knew what was first taken from my life.. but alhamdulillah U gave me better life.
and than U took my Dad away from me... when you knew i still need him around me.. Would U let my Dad remember me ... would U let him recognize me when we met in heaven someday??
after that U took my another happiness.. you took him away from me...the one that i really needed.. the one that could be my everything...
and Now U took my effort... you gave me failure as a result even U knew i was affording a simple happiness for my mom. the only person that really love me sincerely. DIA satu-satunya orang yang yang saat ini menjadi NYALI terakhirku.


if my presence just made her unhappy.. than why dont U take me away from Her.
Mama... im so sorry im failed :(

what a dream

malem itu aku kebangun sampe 3 kali,,,
gara-gara 3 mimpi yang menurutku semuanya aneh...
tapi ada satu mimpi yang menurutku bener-bener aneh bagiku...
di mimpi itu aku berada diruangan yang serba putih, ga ada batas nya,,, pokoknya yang keliatan cuma putih aja... and its my father in front of me... casual wear yang biasa papa pake, berkacamata dan duduk di sebuah sofa kecil. he look so happy... raut wajahnya cerah dan gembira banget.
and it feels so real.. aku lupa kalau papa udah ga ada..
papa: udah lah,, kamu buruan nikah ajaa
aku : hah?? Nikahh?? nikah ama siapa paaaa?? pacar aja gak punya?
papa: (senyum jail) udah gak usah bohong, kamu pikir papa gak tau ya...
aku : .....????

terus aku lari ke mamaku yang saat itu tampak lebih muda, cantik dan sama seperti papa,,, sangat bahagiaaa...
aku : maaa... masa papa suruh aku nikahhh
mama: lho bagus dong.....
aku : haaahhh ????

lalu aku kebangun,,, oh gosh,, its really feel so realll,,,, aku baru sadar kalo papa udah gak ada waktu bangun dari mimpiku.....
my dad told me to married soon?? hahhh?
semasa hidupnya,, papaku tu ga pernah sama sekali deh ngomongin tentang begini ke aku,, dan dia sangat tidak pernah ikut campur dalam love life ku,, meskipun papaku kenal beberapa orang yang pernah menjadi bagian dalam hidupku. and now he told me to married soon by dream??

is it really a sign ??
or its just dreammmm??
hmmm,, maybe im just missing him ...

Paaaaa...
apapun arti mimpiii malam ituuu...
aku bahagia liat papa bahagiaaa..
semoga papa selalu berada diantara orang-orang beriman yang punya tempat istimewa disisi ALLAH...
i miss u :)

(aku jarang banget mimpi tentang papaku, tapi kalo aku lagi stress ato depress,, biasanya memang papa dateng ke mimpiku,,,because he always there... there inside my heart.. )